Five Questions for Robert Glasper

Originally published on Torontoist, October 18, 2012

A gifted jazz pianist who keeps one foot firmly planted in hip-hop and the other in neo-soul, Robert Glasper is one of those artists that defies definition. He serves as music director for Mos Def’s touring band and has worked and written with Q-Tip. While his latest studio effort features big names like Questlove and Lalah Hathaway, his group, Robert Glasper Experiment, has a jazz sensibility. He’s been quoted as saying, “We all have musical ADD and we love it.” Audiences seem to as well. The band’s June performance at the Toronto Jazz Festival sold out so quickly that an extra show was added (it also sold out). The band returns to Toronto to play The Hoxton this Friday.

Glasper spoke to us about his newest album, his collaborations, and his time in Toronto. Our interview is below.

Torontoist: Your new release is a remix EP of your album Black Radio, which came out in February. Was the remix always part of the plan for this project?

Robert Glasper: No, the remix idea came a little later, it actually came in June. We thought about it in June and then put the wheels in motion in July. It was really last minute. It came together because we had a remix contest for one of the songs on the record, “Move Love,” and we had hundreds and hundreds of producers sending in their remix ideas. After that I thought it would be cool to do a remix EP for Black Radio, to just keep the music out there.

Can you tell us about the inspiration behind the name Black Radio?

It’s actually a song that me and Mos Def wrote maybe three or four years ago, basically talking about the device in the airplane [the black box] that holds all the information so that if the plane crashes you’ll know what happened. I named the album Black Radio because I felt like when music is crashing all around us…good music always lives on, no matter what. I felt like this was one of those albums.

We’re sharing “Afro Blue,” featuring Erykah Badu, with our readers. [It’s track two on Black Radio. Listen to it by clicking the “play” button, above.] What was it like working with her, and producer 9th Wonder, on this track?

Working with Erykah was an amazing experience. I’d been on stage with her before. I’ve known her for years, but being in the studio with her and her producer, it was a whole different thing. She’s just really cool and down-to-earth. She’s very open to anything that you might want to do. She’s not an overly “diva” type person that you can’t talk to; she’s extremely cool and willing to learn, so it was a really dope experience working with her. As far as 9th goes, I didn’t even work hands-on with him on this, I just sent him the files from the original song from the album and then he just chopped it up and sent it to me, ’cause he lives in North Carolina. I just met 9th Wonder last week when I did a Master Class at Harvard University and he was there also, because he’s an Artist in Residence there. They [that is, Harvard] have a whole Hip Hop archive, a whole building dedicated to Hip Hop. It’s full of old posters and magazines and records and even figurines and stuff.

You’ve become notable for the people you collaborate with, from jazz bassist Derrick Hodge to drummer Questlove from The Roots. How would an unknown musician get an opportunity to work with you?

There’s a few different ways. If I’m coming to your city, sometimes what people will do is they’ll have a late set somewhere with an afterparty vibe and they’ll invite my band to come out. And a lot of times we’ll go to hang out ’cause it’s a great opportunity for us to hear you play live. That’s so much better than sending in CDs, you know what I mean, ’cause everybody gets CDs all the time and you don’t get around to listening to them. That whole act of putting a CD in your computer, nobody really does that shit anymore. So yeah, that’s the best way. We travel all the time, we’re going to be in your city at some point!

You were just here in the summer playing two sold-out shows. Have you been able to spend any time in Toronto? Any thoughts on our city?

The crowd is awesome. I love Toronto audiences. I was in town for a full month in 2009 when I was playing with [R&B singer] Maxwell. He opened his tour here, so we were rehearsing and getting all the lighting together and all that. So yeah, we were here for a month and it was great! We really got a chance to feel Toronto and be in Toronto. Normally I don’t get a chance to be in any place for a full month, I don’t even get a chance to be home for a month.

Molly Johnson on the music business, motherhood, and letting the air out of Aretha's tires.

Previously published on Torontoist, November 27, 2012

Juno-winning jazz singer (and Torontonian) Molly Johnson hits the stage at Massey Hall November 30 to launch the venue’s 2013 jazz season. Audiences can expect a healthy dose of her trademark wit—also on display every weekend on CBC Radio 2—and the luxurious song-stylings that have made her an international sensation. Just like Jerry Lewis, Johnson is an honest to goodness big deal in France, and she is set to debut at Dizzy’s Club Coca-Cola at Jazz at Lincoln Center in January. Her Massey Hall show will feature the Regent Park School of Music, which is as good a reminder as any of just how civic-minded she can be. Our interview is below.

Torontoist: We’re here today to talk about your upcoming concert at Massey Hall. A daunting venue to be sure, but you’re no stranger to iconic Toronto venues. I remember hearing a story about your first experiences on stage working at the Royal Alexandra as a little girl…

Johnson: I was not much more than a prop on stage. I was very young and they would shoo me out and then someone would take my hand and walk me off. I remember missing a lot of school and loving it. Ed Mirvish used to come watch us rehearse, standing at the back row of the Royal Alex, and would ask me to talk to him from the stage. He’d say “Don’t yell, this is the most beautiful theatre in the world!” I didn’t have any singing lessons, but back then, Ed Mirvish was my vocal coach.

He gave you good advice, too!

Yeah, we don’t need to yell. I can hear you perfectly when you speak to me with confidence and clarity, and so that was a big lesson from Ed. I guess other lessons were things like, always leave them wanting a little more and always take that beat before you walk on.

You always do that in concert settings!

I always do that, I do. I take that moment thinking about a lot of things. History and stuff, before I walk out there for sure. The other thing that was great about those days is that it was just a phone call to the house and down we would come. It was like going to camp! It was like a hobby that the family did, it wasn’t a career or anything other than a fun thing that we did as a family.

You try to keep that spirit in your work even today, don’t you?

I totally do. I feel like I was born in a trunk. I have always been doing some sort of monkey business!

There’s a kind of family atmosphere on the stage with your band. Is that the group that you’ve got on the 30th?

Yeah, the usual suspects! Robi Botos and Mike Downes and Larnell Lewis. My dad was a gym teacher, he was all about the importance of teams, and every position was important to the overall game. I have always come to the stage with a great team, and understanding that playing to their strengths and allowing my musicians the space to be fantastic works. And I am a bit lazy! I love to sit and listen to them play! I am a big believer in the team and that you don’t do anything alone.

Molly Johnson at the Ritz Carlton Hotel, Toronto (Photo by Tracey Nolan)

That’s certainly the game plan for your Massey Hall show on November 30. You’ll be featuring kids involved with the Regent Park School of Music.

I love the idea of opening up stuff that I fought so hard for to others. I’m also really interested in children’s music programs and that really scary corridor for all parents that work. That time period between 3 p.m. and 6 p.m. when they get home. We’ve lost a lot of kids in that time zone, and it doesn’t matter how affluent you are or not. This is a very dangerous time. I am a big believer in after-school programs, and Regent Park School of Music has been doing this particular bit of business for years where they’ve been teaching young children.

This is not just music. They have homework club. They have a lot of different places, ways for kids to plug in, but music is their over-arching business. It’s been proven over and over again how important music is for kids. It’s one of the things that gets cut first in our school programs and it worries me greatly. You talk to a great scientist or a great doctor or an interesting lawyer, and I guarantee you, they will have played an instrument as a child. It’s just a thing. It doesn’t mean that you go on to becoming a professional musician, but it definitely makes your brain work a particular way.

I also think in learning to play an instrument, you become a more informed audience in later life. There’s nothing a performer loves better than an informed audience, an audience that truly appreciates and understands the skill and dedication and focus and discipline to get to this point. It’s just a way better show if you’ve got an educated audience, and why not start young? I guess in answer to your question, I’ve brought along the Regent Park School of Music choir to do a few songs with me right off the top… I think we all love the sound of kids’ voices. It’s so pure, and I love that. Also, in the lobby, during our intermission, we’ll have another group of kids from the Jane and Finch area playing pan drum. The idea is that all my CD sales will go to this music program.

That’s really cool. Can you tell us about some of the special guests that are going to be joining you on stage that night?

Yes. Elizabeth Shepherd is a beautiful voice on the jazz scene. What I love about her is that she writes her own material as well as just beautiful interpretations of standards. She’s a great musician. She plays the piano, something I’m very envious of. I’m very envious of that skill. She’s a new mom, and that’s always interesting to see, how any working mom is going to sort that out. It’s a challenge to any working moms. Whether you’re a musician or a bank-teller, it’s a thing to work out. It’s always interesting to me to see others struggle with their balance. I know a lot about that. I’ve got other sort of surprises through the evening: a young, young guitar player, a Canadian kid name Lucian Gray. Lucian Gray was the first Canadian to get a full music scholarship to Berkeley. He’s going to rip the roof off Massey Hall. He’s just going to! To me, he is the future of jazz. He is very exciting.

I’m wondering what the first concert you ever saw Massey Hall was.

The first thing I probably saw at Massey Hall was one of those massive choirs, and I—probably in a public school situation—sang in one of those massive choirs at Massey Hall.

So many of us did, right?

So many of us did. I’ll say though that, a couple of weeks ago, I went to Massey Hall just to have a walk around to remind myself of what the heck I have gotten myself into. It’s one thing to stand on an empty stage and look out and see all those empty seats and really just hope and pray that they get filled. That’s a bit daunting because there’s a lot of red empty seats when you look that way. Then you turn around and look at the stage and realize just how huge that stage is. It was built to accommodate symphonies and choral music and choirs and big stuff. When you see it naked and you can see that back wall, you realize, I have to not only just fill these seats, but I have to put something on the stage and it better be good, or I’m in big trouble. That was something, to have a deep look at that stage empty like that, for sure.

Is it different performing at home than it is internationally? I mean, you’re such a big deal in France, how does that compare to home?

It’s crazy, but France’s landmass, you can put two and half Frances into Ontario. There are over 48 million people living in France. I don’t think we have 48 million people in Canada. When the artists lament about Canadians not loving culture, I say, “No, no, Canadians love their culture.” We love it, but we’re a very large country, very low population, and very diverse. Extremely diverse. We have a huge country music scene. We have a huge Asian music scene. We have a huge French-Canadian music scene. We have huge pockets, but there’s not a lot of us. So, my advice to Canadian artists is find other markets to supplement your Canadian market. Don’t try and put it off to, “Canadians don’t like culture.” Are you kidding me? They love it. We love it. We especially love our own.

I think so.

I feel very loved and very cherished here.

Anytime I see you perform, I feel that coming from the audience. It’s always a bit of a love fest.

Yeah, it should be a bit of a love fest, especially since Aretha Franklin’s cancelled! 

Wait. What?

Aretha was booked for the same night at Roy Thomson Hall! It was a bit of a nightmare for me. Of all the voices in the world, Aretha. I was threatening to go down to New Jersey and let the air out her tour bus tires. [She laughs.] You can print that. I gotta do what I gotta do. Everybody’s paying for this Massey Hall show. My mother bought a ticket. Everybody’s paying. I’ve got to fill seats. If you really love me, you’ll cough up the 35 bucks and come see my ass. My mother’s giving me the gears. I just say, “I have to use you as an example, Mama. I know you’re 80, (laughs) I don’t care.” 

You've got to entertain the whole audience: An interview with George Benson

Originally published on Torontoist, June 25, 2012

George Benson wears the title of “entertainer” with pride. After 10 Grammys, a lifetime in the business (he’s been performing since he was nine years old), and memorable hits such as “On Broadway,” “The Greatest Love of All,” and “This Masquerade,” you’d think he’d rest on his laurels a little. Instead, as he approaches his 70s, Benson is exploring and touring, always with his audiences in mind. We sat down to talk with him about his latest recording and his upcoming show at the Toronto Jazz Festival.

Torontoist: We’re excited to welcome you back to Toronto. You’ve played here a lot over the course of your career. Do you have any Toronto-centric memories you’d like to share with us?

George Benson: Well, I remember there was a street called Yonge Street and there was a jazz club down there. I played there a couple of times. That was my introduction to Toronto. Another time was when I substituted for Buddy Rich, the great drummer who was unable to fulfill an engagement here. I brought along a girl nobody had ever heard of to join me. Her name was Randy Crawford. She was just a kid then, 19 years old. She tore the place up. She was a great singer, you know. I’ve got some good memories of Toronto.

What can we expect from your show here on June 26th?

We bring our own little arsenal with us when we come. Of course we can’t play everything because I have many, many, many, many years’ worth of songs. We do a variety of things with our show and usually it works out well. I have no set program. Every show is its own show and I play according to the vibe that’s coming from the audience. I’ll call out tunes and the band will jump right on it. We turn each night into a special evening.

There’s been a lot of discussion floating around about “modern” jazz festivals and the challenges that they face with their booking practices. You strike me as a booker’s dream. I think you’re one of the rare artists who straddles both the mainstream audience because of your pop success and the audience that’s looking for straight-ahead jazz. Do you care about that stuff? Is that even on your radar?

In the old days, when they first started doing jazz festivals, maybe Newport way back in the ’50s, I remember Ray Charles was on that bill. He wasn’t a “jazz man” but he was the most popular thing on that show. So it started way back then. Think of it this way. Let’s say you’ve got two people, the man might be a jazz fan but his girlfriend might like country music. What do you do, leave her at home? You’ve got to entertain that whole audience. I remember, I was on the road with the Kool Jazz Festival that came along later in the ’60s and the ’70s. They would hire a pop artist like Marvin Gaye. Why are they doing that? I can do that! If you want to do some R&B, just tell me! Even my manager would say, “Aaaw, you’re just jealous,” and I’d say, “No I’m not jealous,” I just figured hey, if you’re going do that, let me have that role. I like that audience; I know that audience; I know how to make them happy. It took me a few years…and a few records to prove my point.

Can you tell us a little bit about your latest recording, Guitar Man?

Guitar Man is a very successful album from this point of view, not necessarily in terms of sales, but from day one we went straight to the top of the jazz chart. A week later we were at the top of the jazz contemporary chart. So the critics jumped on it right away. Radio started playing the first single right away. It’s got a good variety of things on it from acoustic guitar to solo guitar and classic jazz tunes that nobody expected me to do. So it’s got a good variety of things and I think it satisfies.

I was surprised to see “Tenderly” on there, considering you recorded it (on the album of the same name) in 1989 with McCoy Tyner and Ron Carter.

It’s a totally different performance.

It couldn’t be more different. How much fun is that? Going back to the well, revisiting something, a tune you have an infinity for, and turning it on its ear like that?

Well, one is dedicated to a jazzy approach. I was trying to show how much dexterity I had. It’s full of harmony and theory and fast licks and crazy stuff, you know? And that worked good for that era. We’re talking about 20 years ago now. It’s a different day now, and the acoustic guitar has really come into its own for me, so I thought I’d try my hand at it and see if people would accept that kind of thing from me. Sure enough, I got a nice audience. Now that tells me that there’s a different future ahead of me.

Janelle Monáe Doesn't Have Time

Originally published on Torontoist, June 22, 2012

Janelle Monáe doesn’t have time for your bullshit. She’s not going to hold your hand. You either find something you like at her live show, or you don’t.

When I sat down to talk with her about her upcoming Toronto Jazz Festival show and asked her if she had any jazz influences, she asked me if I listened to her record. Come on, Janelle, I just wanted to know if you had A Love Supreme on repeat in college like everybody else. At first I found her behaviour abrasive. But ultimately, her message is inclusive. “Music is the universal language” she said, “music doesn’t discriminate. I just believe in great music.”

Now that we know Janelle won’t be telling us her favourite places to eat in Toronto, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.

Torontoist: A lot of people are familiar with your song “Tightrope” because you licensed it to Chevy for commercial use. Was that a difficult decision?

Monáe: Licensing “Tightrope” to Chevy wasn’t a hard decision at all, no. I love to think of people blasting “Tightrope” in their Chevys.

Social media was helpful in getting you noticed at the beginning of your career by people like Big Boi and Sean Combs. Do you think it’s important for artists to be involved in the social media landscape?

Absolutely. It’s extremely helpful. You’re getting your music out there, unfiltered. Straight from the mouth of the artist. That’s very empowering for an artist.

You present a very classy image, with the tuxedo uniform, one that’s very different from most of what we’re seeing in mainstream pop music today.

Yes, and that’s done purposefully. I feel like I have a responsibility to my community and other young girls to help redefine what it looks like to be a woman. It’s all about positivity. Stevie Wonder has done that with his career—acted with purpose—[and] that’s part of what makes him so unique as a person and an artist.

So you see yourself as a role model?

Yes.

What’s next for you?

I’m working on developing a label. All artists are business people as well, but you have to make sure to surround yourself with the best people and listen to them.

You mentioned Stevie Wonder. I know you’ve performed with him in the past, is there a recording in your collective future?

Absolutely. We speak often. Everything is timing, but when it happens, something magical will happen.

Discography: Robi Botos: Movin' Forward

Thrilled to have been able to provide both photos for the booklet and interview segments (videography) for the EPK of Robi Botos' Juno Award Winning recording, Movin' Forward. Robi is a fantastic artist (and human being) and this recording is worthy of all the awards and top ten lists its landed on! You can buy Movin' Forward here.

Interview: The Education of Wray Downes

Originally published in the March, 2008 issue of CODA Magazine. 

The Education of Wray Downes

“Tiger Woods, he’s my guy,” states pianist Wray Downes, who’s just put down the sports section when I call. “Jazz musicians are all golfers...what else are you going to do during the day?” Although one answer to that rhetorical question could be “make music,” Downes is not a man with a one-track mind. He doesn’t eat, breath and sleep music. In fact, he has walked away from the profession numerous times. These temporary respites from music have not, however, diminished his palpable air of confidence. “I was never a very good golfer,” suggests the pianist. “I figured doing one thing well is enough.” That one thing, playing jazz piano, is something for which Downes has received recognition since taking it up shortly after being heralded a child prodigy and saddled with the potential to be the “first black concert pianist.”

“I didn’t start taking lessons until I was four years old,” remembers Downes. “After my older brother.” That “older brother” was actually Lincoln Alexander, the 24th Lieutenant Governor of Ontario. The son of Downes’s godfather, Alexander was sent from Hamilton to live with the Downes family in Toronto. Downes ended up taking the piano lessons that were meant for Alexander. “I used to stand in the doorway when he was taking his lesson and say ‘Winc’...I couldn’t say Linc yet...‘I wanna try!’” Before long, Downes was playing two or three songs that he picked up by ear from the doorway. His mother decided he should take over the lessons as Alexander never practiced—he was too busy reading—and they were “paying already.”

When he was nine years old, Downes won his first classical piano competition. During the ten years that followed, he received more than seventy-five awards, medals and scholarships, including the opportunity to study at Trinity College of Music in London, England in 1949 as the first Canadian recipient of this award.

So, where did it all start? How did a young man trained in the western art music tradition with so many lofty expectations placed upon him, wind up as one of the most respected jazz musicians in Canada? It’s simple really. Along came Oscar Peterson. “I used to listen to this late night radio program out of New York called “Jumpin’ with Symphony Syd,” recalls Downes. “After my parents went to bed, I’d sneak out and listen with my ear up against that big old radio.” This was shortly after Peterson made his Carnegie Hall debut in 1949. “I’d call Symphony Syd long distance and request some of Oscar’s hits,” explains Downes. “I’d listen to them and learn them note by note.” Once the phone bill came, however, Downes had some explaining to do. “They didn’t itemize all your calls on your bills back then,” elaborates the pianist. “So I told my parents that I had called my aunt in New York to talk. Once they called her to check up on me...that’s when I got a real beating!” No form of corporal punishment could keep Downes from following his jazz muse, however.

The early 1950s found Downes in Europe, studying at London’s Trinity College of Music and in Paris at the Conservatoire National de Musique. He also studied harmony with John Birks “Dizzy” Gillespie and piano with Mary Lou Williams, the latter of whom he cites as a mentor. Soon, Downes was touring Europe (under the name Randy Downes) with a laundry list of expatriate jazz musicians like Bill Coleman, Dickie Wells, Zutty Singleton, Lionel Hampton, Buck Clayton, Sidney Bechet, Annie Ross and Blossom Dearie.

Back in Canada in the late 1950s, Downes began studying privately with Peterson, the man who unwittingly earned him those beatings over the long distance telephone bills. The two became fast friends and when Peterson opened the Advanced School of Contemporary Music on Park Road in Toronto, Downes enrolled studying with not just Peterson, but with trio members Ed Thigpen and Ray Brown. “I remember Ray lived in one of those apartment buildings at St. Clair and Avenue Road, and Ed lived up in Don Mills.” Downes doesn’t recount much about the education he received at the ASCM, but his time there was formative for his playing and helped cement his relationship with Peterson.

By the early 1960s, Downes had earned a reputation as one of Toronto’s pre-eminent jazz pianists and Peterson and Norm Amadio recommended Downes take Amadio’s place as the pianist for the in-house trio at the Town Tavern on Yonge Street. The Town Tavern (and the nearby Colonial Tavern) welcomed many of the American jazz greats of the day to their stage. Here, along with bassists Bill Britto and Lennie Boyd, and drummers Archie Alleyne and Rick Marcus, Downes played behind Lester Young, Ben Webster, Sonny Stitt, Roy Eldridge, Zoot Sims and Clark Terry, with whom he would later tour the United States.

Even with the occasional self-imposed sabbatical, Downes’s accomplishments are too numerous to mention. Tours of Europe and North America, sharing the stage with Joe Williams, Stanley Turrentine, Eddie “Lockjaw” Davis among others, recordings with Charlie Biddle, Dave Turner, Buddy Tate and Don Thompson number as only a few of the high points. John Norris, co- founder of CODA, has pointed to the “brilliance and versatility of his playing,” while longtime Globe and Mail critic Mark Miller has documented his own conversations with Peterson about Downes: “Over and over again, I’ve run into players in the States,” remembered Peterson, “and they’ve said, ‘Man, I was in Toronto—hey, I played with a guy, a good piano player...’ I say, ‘Wray Downes.’ ‘Yeah! Hey man, why hasn’t he...’ I can’t answer them. I don’t know what to say.” Downes’s story finds its way back to Oscar Peterson in 1997, when he played at a tribute to Peterson at a concert hall named in Peterson’s honour at Concordia University. Downes is quick to point out Peterson’s credibility as a composer. “There are really only four of us that can play Oscar’s writing the way it should be played right now...that’s me, Oliver Jones, Benny Green and Makoto Ozone. I promised Kelly [Peterson’s widow] that I would continue to play that music as long as I was able.” Without question Downes’s relationship with Peterson has come a long way: from learning his songs off the radio as a teenager, to studying with him, to becoming his colleague, his friend and now protector of his legacy.
What about Downes’s own students? Now that he’s spent several years as a part time faculty member at both Concordia and McGill University in Montreal, is there anyone with whom he feels the kind of connection that Peterson felt with him? “John Roney [the Toronto born, Montreal based pianist] is one,” states Downes. “He moved here [to Montreal] to get his Masters. He’s studied just about everywhere.” Downes also mentions West Coast mainstays Tilden Webb (piano) and Jodi Proznick (bass) as being “great players.”

These days, Downes seems comfortable in his skin as an educator. His relationship with the education system wasn’t always so amicable, however. In the 1940s, Downes was expelled from Toronto’s Riverdale Collegiate after putting a fellow student “in the hospital” for issuing a racial slur. When he went back to school, this time at Malvern Collegiate in Toronto’s east end, “my reputation preceded me,” remembers Downes. The other students were intimidated by Downes, because of his history at Riverdale, and learned to tread softly. “Shortly after I started at Malvern this other new kid came to the school and all the other kids were picking on him because (they thought) he was weird. He was always wearing his scarf, even in the springtime and these wool gloves. I was his protector. I told the other kids: he’s a genius!” That “weird” new kid was none other than Glenn Gould.

Today it is as a teacher that his neighbours in Montreal know him. In fact, when in early January, Downes found a moving van parked four houses down the way, some well meaning neighbours took it upon themselves to introduce him—the man they thought of as an unassuming music teacher—to the street’s newest resident. “‘Wray...you won’t believe it,’” they explained. “‘We have a famous jazz piano player living on our street, you have to meet him!’ They were so excited to introduce me to him. I was just relieved he played along!” Downes, who treasures his anonymity, pretended to meet none other than [fellow pianist] Oliver Jones for the first time that day. “Oliver knew instinctively to just go with it...he was very pleasant, just talked a little bit about how I teach at the University and then got back to moving.” Downes laughs at the memory. His “secret identity” intact, he’s free to go about his daily life, working with his students, enjoying that Sports section and planning a possible appearance at Montreal’s Upstairs Jazz Club this spring (should he decide that he wants to). He also promises that a memoir is on its way. Up first, however, is a March CD release party for the Montreal-based vocalist Madeline Theriault’s debut effort (on which he plays). Even now, at 77 years of age after a lifetime of accomplishments, there seem to be no limits for Wray Downes. “I always thought I could do anything,” he states. “I could fly if I wanted to.”